Having sex without consent is rape

Sexual violence has several forms. It can be rape, incest, sexual harassment, digital violence, or prostitution. Having sex without consent is always rape. Rape is one of the most serious crimes there are, whereas only murder is considered more serious. Repercussions of rape can last a lifetime.

Consent means that both individuals agree to have sex. It is never OK to insist or force a person to have sex, regardless of whether people are in a relationship or not. Consent is key.

What does consent mean?

  • Consent is to ask instead of assuming you have permission to do something.
  • That you keep asking if the person likes what you're doing and what they would like, even if you've slept together before. People don't always want to do the same things.
  • That consent can be shown with physical or verbal expression. If the other person is silent, hesitant, or says maybe, that is not consent.
  • It means that the other person is always conscious. Whether the person is drunk, unconscious, or sleeping, they cannot give their consent.
  • Consent means yes, but you can always change your mind and withdraw your consent.

Nothing justifies rape, because the rapist alone is responsible for his actions. If you are raped, it is never your fault.

If you've experienced some kind of coercing or your boundaries have been crossed during sex - it is worth a second thought. You can always contact Bjarkarhlíð to get counseling. It does not matter how long it has been since the incident.

Do you recognize abuse?

See more stories

Lára

During the first months of the relationship Lára found it admirable and sexy how easy it was to talk to Þrándur about sex. But over time his need for talking about and having sex only seemed to increase and she started finding it uncomfortable. Especially when he told her about a rape fantasy that he had.

One night Lára wakes up to Þrándur having sex with her. She doesn’t know what to do so she does nothing. Afterwards, Þrándur thanks her, turns on his other side and falls asleep.

Is this abuse?

Bjarkarhlíð

Bjarkarhlíð is a center for people who have experienced abuse. There you get all the support and counseling you need in one place. All assistance is on your terms.

Bjarmahlíð in Akureyri

Bjarmahlíð is a center for people who have experienced abuse. There you get all the support and counseling you need in one place. All assistance is on your terms.

ER for Sexual Abuse

The Emergency Room for Sexual Abuse assists anyone who has been raped, experienced attempted rape or any other sexual abuse.

Spiking

Spiking is when someone gives another person a drink, medicine or drugs that have been spiked, in order to gain control over the person.