A guide for survivors of domestic violence

What is domestic violence?

• Domestic violence is intimate partner violence.
• It is violence done by a person who should be a safe person. The person can be a spouse, parent, foster parent, child, sibling or other close family member.
• The perpetrator and the victim do not have to live together or be married.
• The violence does not have to happen within the home.
• The violence can be, for example, mental, physical, sexual, financial, digital or honour violence.
• Coercive management is common.

Domestic violence is illegal and is taken seriously by the police and the courts (the justice system).

Why don't people leave abusive relationships?

There are many reasons why people don't leave unhealthy relationships. Violence in relationships is usually mental in some way that breaks the victim and coercive managementis also common.

More: 9 reasons why people do not leave an abusive relationship.

The Circle of Violence

Abusive relationships often follow a pattern called the cycle of violence. This pattern is one of the reasons why victims find it difficult to leave the relationship or press charges against the perpetrator.

More: The Circle of Violence.

Staying for the child

When a child is in the home, it is common for victims to think that it is better for the child if they continue in the abusive relationship.

• Often they are advised not to "break" the family and thus take the other parent away from the child.
• It is important to remember that a child who witnesses domestic violence suffers similar harm as if they had been abused themselves.
• Children need to be protected from violence and receive appropriate support after violence.

More: Divorce, separation and custody.

Ways for you to increase your security

Important: Violence often worsens around the breakup of a relationship or when contact with the perpetrator is severed. It is especially important to take good care of your mental and physical safety.

You are not responsible for stopping the abuser or changing the behaviour of the perpetrator. Your role is to increase the safety of yourself and your children if you have children.

Getting help

Remember: You can always contact the Emergency Line. You can call 112 or participate in an online chat.

• Anyone can experience violence, so no one needs to be ashamed of it.
• Speaking up about what you're going through can help you think more clearly about the situation. It also usually helps immediately to know that you are not alone and can get help.
• It doesn't matter if you're still in contact with the perpetrator. It's never too late to get help.

The Police

The police take domestic violence very seriously. Notifications received by the police are always recorded which can help in the future even if you are not ready to file a complaint right away. See further down the page.

The Women's Shelter

An emergency shelter that receives women and their children who have to flee their homes due to violence. It is located in Akureyri and Reykjavík. Your stay there is free of charge. You can also get advice from them around the clock by calling 561 1205.

Victim Centres

Victim Centres provide trauma-focused counselling, support, and information about the recovery process and the justice system. You can speak to the police, lawyer and other local charities. The service is for victims of violence of all genders and is free of charge.

Healthcare Institutions

You can get help for domestic violence in emergency departments, hospitals and health care centres all over the country, whether the offence has recently taken place or some time has passed. Nurses can assist you around the clock by calling 1700.

In all healthcare institutions in Iceland, it is possible to get the services of the Domestic Violence Team. The team includes psychologists and social workers who have expertise in violence in close relationships. They offer education and advice.

What happens when the police are notified of domestic violence?

In many cases, the police are called to the scene. But you can also report domestic violence at any time.

If the police believe a crime has taken place, they start a formal investigation under the national procedures for domestic violence. From there, the case moves through the steps of the justice system. Even if there isn’t enough evidence at first to take the case further, the report can still help strengthen the case later on.

Going through the justice system can be tough and take time. But it’s the only way to hold the abuser accountable. This guide walks you through the process step by step — for adults, 18 years and older.