Humiliation and control
Threats, humiliation, intense monitoring, and using control to make you feel bad, are all examples of emotional abuse. If someone around you makes you feel this way or if you are experiencing any of these examples, you are likely in an abusive relationship. People who abuse others often try to excuse it by blaming the other person or make excuses like being under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or stress. Remember, it is never your fault if someone abuses you!
Violence in intimate relationships often follows the same behavioural pattern known as the cycle of violence. First, tension builds up; then at some point the tension is released in the form of physical or emotional abuse; and then the third phase follows, called the “honeymoon phase,” where the abusive person is full of regret. Then the cycle continues.
The repercussions of emotional abuse can run deeper than physical abuse. Emotional abuse leaves invisible wounds that are often difficult to grasp.
It's emotional abuse when someone:
- Pays no regard to how you feel.
- Creates an oppressive home or working environment.
- Yells at or threatens you or others in your home.
- Lies and manipulates or misleads you.
- Constantly criticizes you, your family or friends.
- Attempts to control you with sulking and silence.
- Tells you how and what to do.
- Becomes angry for little or no reason.
- Calls you belittling names.
- Harasses you via phone or in person.
- Restrains you in any way from seeing your family or friends.
It is always best to talk to someone about how you are feeling and what you are experiencing. If you want assistance, contact these abuse support centres: Bjarkarhlíð in Reykjavík or Bjarmahlíð in Akureyri. It doesn‘t matter how long it has been since the abuse occurred. Additionally, everyone, both adults or children, can talk to someone at 1717 (Red Cross helpline).