Honour-based abuse is when someone, usually a close relative, inflicts abuse on you to protect the honour of the family. When honour is set above your human rights, that is abuse.
In Iceland, both women and men have the right to choose who they wish to marry, they decide for themselves who their future spouse will be. No one may be forced into marriage.
Honour-based abuse is often hidden.
The abuser is often a close relative who believs the victim will or has dishonoured the family.
Young women and LGBTQ+ people are at the highest risk of honour-based abuse.
This can happen when there is a big difference between the society they live in and the family's heritage and culture.
It is a breach of human rights when family honour is more important than the freedom of the individual.
It can be difficult to recognize such situations and get out of them. It can involve leaving your family, which is often the only thing that you have in a new country. You can contact Bjarkarhlíð in Reykjavík or Bjarmahlíð in Akureyri, which specialize in assisting with all forms of abuse. Keep in mind that abuse is never acceptable and it is possible to get out of such situations.
Everyone, both adults and children, can also talk to someone at 1717 (Red Cross helpline).
Fatima is an Iranian girl who moved to Iceland with her family a few years ago. She is in the 8th grade at a school in Reykjavík and has lots of good friends in her class, both of Icelandic and foreign origin. For the last few weeks, Fatima has been walking home with her classmate Jóhann, which she likes because he is funny, entertaining, and smart.
Fatima’s brother does not like their friendship and gives Jóhann the evil eye every time they meet. A while later, he tackles Jóhann roughly while they are playing sports, but Jóhann does not make a big deal out of it. One evening, Fatima and Jóhann run into each other at the corner store and have a long talk. The day before summer vacation her dad appears at school unexpectedly and takes her home. Summer passes with Fatima nowhere to be seen and when school starts again she does not return.
It is emotional abuse when someone threatens you or deliberately tries to scare, humiliate, isolate or ignore you. Emotional abuse leaves invisible wounds that are often difficult to grasp.
