Responding when a loved one experiences sexual abuse

It can be hard to know how you should respond when a friend, family member or partner has experienced sexual abuse. Responding well when a loved one tells you about sexual abuse can make a difference in their recovery. You show support by staying calm, listening, believing, and not blaming them for what happened.

How can you help a loved one who has experienced sexual abuse?

Believe them. When someone tells you about the sexual abuse they have experienced, you should believe them and say so out loud. 

Listen. Listen without interrupting or speaking too much. It’s normal to want to ask lots of questions but that can make the person feel bad and can make it sound like you blame them for what happened.

Never blame the person for what happened. Sexual abuse is never the fault of the person who experienced it. It doesn’t matter what people are wearing, whether they were under the influence of drugs or alcohol or what their relationship is to the person who inflicted the abuse, sexual abuse is never OK.

Let them express their feelings. Let the person cry, scream or be silent if they want to. It can be uncomfortable, but it is important that they are able to express difficult emotions.

Ask before you touch. Many people who have experienced sexual abuse find touch uncomfortable, especially shortly after the offence. Ask whether you can hug them; that also gives them the crucial power to say yes or no.

Offer help. It’s good to encourage people to seek out help, for example at Bjarkarhlíð, but the decision must always be theirs. Offer to look up where they can seek help and to accompany them to a consultation. 

Remember to show patience; the recovery process can take a long time.

It’s normal to become agitated when a loved one or family member experiences abuse. You might experience emotions like anger, shock, guilt, and powerlessness. It’s important for you to also think about your own well-being. Loved ones of abuse victims can also receive support and counselling at Stígamót.

Learn about criminal case proceedings in the justice system, from when the crime is reported to police and until the case is closed.

Case procedure for victims of sexual abuse

Wheelchair accessible. Counsellor that has good understanding of disabled persons rights.

Stígamót helps people who have suffered sexual abuse. It doesn’t matter how long it has been since the abuse occurred.

Stígamót is an organisation that offers interviews and support groups for people who have been sexually abused. It doesn't matter if the abuse occurred long ago, you can always get help at Stígamót. They also provide counselling for families. All of their services are free.

At Stígamót, everyone is welcome regardless of gender, gender expression, sexual orientation, disability, your origin or race, economic background or residence status. You can talk to a counsellor in Icelandic, English or Scandinavian languages and choose between a male or a female counsellor. For other languages, they provide an interpreter and sign language interpreter. Their place is wheelchair accessible with an elevator.

Stígamót is located at Síðumúli 23. You can call 562 6868 or send an email to stigamot@stigamot.is to book a time with a counsellor. You can also talk to a counsellor through their webchat (Netspjall). The office is open weekdays from 9 am - 6 pm except on Wednesdays when it is open from 1 pm - 6 pm. It is usually best to reach them early in the morning or around noon.

Íslenska, English, dansk, norsk, svenska. Language and sign language interpretation.

Stígamót helps people of all genders who have been sexually abused.

Walk-in service for victims of sexual abuse is open 24 hours a day.

Walk-in service for victims of sexual abuse is located in the Emergency Room (Bráðamóttaka) at the National Hospital in Fossvogur. It is open 24/7, and there is no cost for going there. You will get help, regardless of where you are from or where you live. It is a good idea to bring someone you trust with you.

There are nurses, psychologists, and doctors who work in the emergency room who provide you help with both physical and emotional wounds.  There, you can also get assistance from a lawyer or legal rights protector. Physical evidence is collected for use if you choose to press charges. Even though it's hard, to increase the chances of finding criminal evidence, it's best to go to the emergency room as soon as possible, without washing yourself or your clothes.

The phone number at the ER is 543 2000, and it is open 24/7. You can also contact them directly at 543 2094 during daytime work hours. It is also possible to send an email to neydarmottaka@landspitali.is or contact the emergency room through the online chat on the hospital's website. 

Support and Counselling due to Sexual Abuse 

Language and sign language interpretation.

The Emergency Room for Sexual Abuse assists anyone who has been raped, experienced attempted rape or any other sexual abuse.

543 2000 (24/7) or directly 543 2094 (daytime work hours)

Walk-in service in Akureyri for victims of sexual abuse is open 24 hours a day.

Walk-in service for victims of sexual abuse is located in the Emergency Room at the Hospital in Akureyri (Sjúkrahúsið á Akureyri). It is open 24/7, year round, and there is no cost for going there. You will get help, regardless of where you are from or where you live. It is a good idea to bring someone you trust.

There are nurses, social workers, psychologists, and doctors who work in the emergency room. They offer you help with both physical and emotional wounds. There, you can also get assistance from a lawyer or legal rights protector. Physical evidence is collected for use if you choose to press charges. Even though it's hard, to increase the chances of finding criminal evidence, it's best to go to the emergency room as soon as possible, without washing yourself or your clothes. You are never required to press charges.

You can either come directly or call telephone number 463 0800.

Support and Counselling due to Sexual Abuse

Icelandic and English. Language and sign language interpretation

The Emergency Room for Sexual Abuse in Akureyri assists anyone who has been raped, experienced attempted rape or any other sexual abuse.

Bjarkarhlíð offers help to all people who have suffered abuse. You will be well taken care of here.

If you or anyone you know has been abused, you can contact a counselor at Bjarmahlíð. There you will have access to a police officer, a lawyer, a social worker, and other organizations that offer support. Everyone is welcome, and there is no cost associated with services or counseling.

The building is wheelchair accessible. If you need, you can get sign language or language interpretation.

Bjarkarhlíð is located in Norðlingaholt in Reykjavík. Opening hours are on weekdays from 9 am - 5 pm. It is best to book a time through their website, calling their phone number: 553 3000. You can also send an email to bjarkarhlid@bjarkarhlid.is.

Family Justice Center for Survivors of Violence

Íslenska, English. Language and sign language interpretation.

Bjarkarhlíð is a center for people who have experienced abuse. There you get all the support and counseling you need in one place. All assistance is on your terms.

Please notify first if you need wheelchair access.

Bjarmahlíð in Akureyri helps all people who have suffered abuse. 

If necessary, you can receive sign language interpretation or language interpretation. The building is not wheelchair accessible, so if you need such access, please mention this when you book an appointment, a counselor can then meet with you at the Social Services office of Akureyri located in Glerárgata. 

Bjarmahlíð is located at Aðalstræti 14 in Akureyri. The office is open weekdays from 10 am - 2 pm. It is best to book a time on their website or call via telephone 551 2520. You can also send them an email at bjarmahlid@bjarmahlid.is.

Bjarmahlíð is a center for people who have experienced abuse. There you get all the support and counseling you need in one place. All assistance is on your terms.

Sigurhæðir provides service for victims of gender-based sexual abuse in South Iceland. 

Sigurhæðir offers coordinated counsel, support and therapy on your terms - free of charge.

Individual- and group therapy is available as well as specialized trauma therapy. Police are also available within Sigurhæðir to provide counsel, information and legal counsel to immigrants is available as well. 

Women residing in South Iceland and their families can come, call and book appointments to receive support, counsel and information.

Sigurhæðir is at Þórsmörk 7, 800 Selfoss.  The entrance is from Árvegur, opposite to the local hospital. Opening hourse are Tuesdays from 10-5pm, Thursdays 1-5pm and Fridays 10-5pm. An appointment can be made through the Sigurhæðir website or call 834 5566. You can also send an email to sigur@sigurhaedir.is.

Icelandic, English. Sign language interpretation services available.

Sigurhæðir is a service for victims of gender-based violence in South Iceland. There you receive coordinated counsel, support and therapy on your terms.  

Sexual abuse is when someone touches you inappropriately or sexually or forces you to perform a sexual act against your will. Sexual harassment with words or action is also abuse.

It can be hard to know how to help a loved one who has experienced sexual violence or abuse. You can be an important source of support for them, even if it seems overwhelming at first.

Loved ones of sexual abuse victims

Responding when a loved one experiences sexual abuse

How can you help a loved one who has experienced sexual abuse?

Take care of yourself

Case procedure for victims of sexual abuse

Resources

Stígamót

ER for Sexual Abuse

ER in Akureyri for Sexual Abuse

Bjarkarhlíð

Bjarmahlíð in Akureyri

Sigurhæðir in Selfoss

Sexual abuse