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Sexual coercion or harassment

If anyone coerces you to do something sexual it is sexual abuse. This could be intercourse, penetration or inappropriate touching. If anyone harasses you sexually with words or touching that is also sexual abuse. It does not matter if the person doing this is your spouse or partner. The majority of people who have been sexually abused know their abuser.

Sexual abuse can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, and depression. People who experience sexual abuse are likely to feel ashamed, blame themselves, feel angry, experience fear, isolation and a negative self-image. Sometimes these consequences develop immediately but sometimes they surface later.

If you are sexually abused it is best to go as soon as possible to the hospital emergency room to get help. There you get an injury report which can be used if you decide to press charges.

Examples of sexual abuse are:

  • Kissing and touching against your will or without your permission.
  • Sexual expressions and words spoken and carried out against your will or without your permission.
  • Having sex with you when you are unable to say no. For example, if you are intoxicated or asleep.
  • Refusing to use a condom or removing one without letting you know.
  • Mocking or threatening you if you don't want to engage in something sexual, like watching porn or inviting others to take part.
  • To threaten you with showing others nude or sexual pictures of you.
  • To pressure you into sending them nude pictures of you.
  • Sending nude pictures to you without your consent.
  • Rape or attempted rape.

It is always best to talk to someone about how you are feeling and what you are experiencing. If you want assistance you can contact Stígamót, which specialize in helping people who have been sexually abused. It doesn‘t matter how long it has been since the abuse occurred.

Everyone, both adults and children, can also talk to someone at 1717 (Red Cross helpline).

Consequences and improved wellbeing

People who have looked to Stígamót share their experiences regarding how they felt after being sexually abused and how seeking help supported them in feeling better today.

People who abuse

The people who use abuse are most commonly "regular" people. In this video, victims of abuse describe their abusers.

Do you recognize abuse?

See more stories

Lára

During the first months of the relationship Lára found it admirable and sexy how easy it was to talk to Þrándur about sex. But over time his need for talking about and having sex only seemed to increase and she started finding it uncomfortable. Especially when he told her about a rape fantasy that he had.

One night Lára wakes up to Þrándur having sex with her. She doesn’t know what to do so she does nothing. Afterwards, Þrándur thanks her, turns on his other side and falls asleep.

Is this abuse?

More resources

Bjarmahlíð in Akureyri

Bjarmahlíð is a center for people who have experienced abuse. There you get all the support and counseling you need in one place. All assistance is on your terms.

ER for Sexual Abuse

The Emergency Room assists anyone who has been raped, experienced attempted rape or any other sexual abuse.

The Crazy Love Chat

The Crazy Love Chat is an anonymous chat for young people who seek advice about their relationships, communication or violence.